Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child: A Hidden Mystery in Parenting

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Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child: A Hidden Mystery in Parenting

By Nasarah Peter Dashe

There’s an old saying taken from the Bible: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Yet today, many parents — blinded by modern opinions — are unknowingly destroying their own children with over-pampering.

We live in a generation where some parents equate discipline with wickedness. While trying to be “kind,” they fail to correct, and in the end, that is the true wickedness.

A Tale of Two Daughters

A woman was being interviewed one day. When asked if anyone lived in her home aside from her nuclear family, she smiled and said yes — her husband’s cousin’s daughter Amanda, aged 15.

She explained that Amanda had been living with them for almost seven years, ever since her mother died in an accident. Meanwhile, she had her own daughter, now 12.

The interviewer leaned in and asked:

“So between Amanda and your daughter, who helps you most with house chores?”

Without hesitation, she replied:

“Amanda, of course. She helps me in the kitchen, cleans the house, and even runs errands.”

“And what about your own daughter?” the interviewer continued.

The woman’s answer was shocking —

“She’s still a child. I don’t want to stress her yet. Maybe when she’s 15, I’ll start teaching her.”

She said it so innocently, but what she didn’t realize was that she was destroying her child with her own hands.

The Difference in Training

At age 8, Amanda was learning how to cook, sweep, and be responsible. Today, at 15, she is smart, independent, confident — and excelling both in life and academics.

Meanwhile, her daughter at 12 knows nothing about such responsibilities. She’s shielded from housework, avoided correction, and given everything without earning anything.

Amanda is being prepared for the world.
Her own daughter is being prepared for disappointment.

Then came the piercing question from the interviewer:

“You trained someone else’s child, but neglected your own. Amanda, at 8, could wash and cook. But can your 12-year-old daughter do the same?”

The woman was silent.
The truth finally hit her:
She was not being “nice” to her daughter — she was spoiling her future.

What the Bible Really Says

Scripture doesn’t punish correction.
It commands it.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” — Proverbs 22:15

Correction is not cruelty. It is cure.
Discipline is not punishment — it's preparation.

The Cost of Neglect

Today, many children curse their parents — not for beating them, but for not raising them. They struggle with laziness, addiction, irresponsibility — all because no one taught them the way.

A child you refuse to discipline today is the same child that might disrespect you tomorrow. A responsibility you avoid while they are young will become regret when they are grown.

The Real Mystery

There are two choices in parenting:

  1. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

  2. Spare the child and spoil the rod.

Either way, something will be spoiled.

The ball is in your court.

Raise your children with love — not with weakness. Discipline them early so life won’t discipline them later.

Written by Nasarah Peter Dashe
@Peternasarah / Peternasarah1 on all social media
© Bilongspan, 2025
Don’t forget to share — a parent might need this.

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